Intro to Mindfulness

"Intro to Mindfulness," by Daniel Mortenson, PhD

There are few terms that I see used so much in our culture with so little formal definition than “mindfulness.”  If you take a look at magazine titles or themes to social media stories it’s been one of the most consistent buzzwords for the past fifteen years or so and can generally sound like something we all are striving for even though we’re not really sure why that might be the case.  A lot of phrases come to mind relative to living mindfully, such as “being in the moment” – but sometimes these can be just as cryptic and elusive to define.  Rather than creating an ironclad definition, the best way of understanding such a slippery concept can be through gaining more of an understanding of its function and where it fits in with the world of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Mindlessness

I often start in explaining mindfulness by going through its opposite: mindlessness.  For whatever reason, this can seem easier to define as “living without thinking things through.”  When we live “mindlessly,” we tend to think of acting on impulse without much to anchor ourselves and often going overboard on indulging in certain areas without much regard to how we’re really feeling.  In contrast then, living mindfully can be about taking stock of where we are, anchoring ourselves in what matters, and thinking through what our intent is before committing to acting on it.

What does mindfulness have to do with emotions?

This all sounds pretty decent, but much of the time we hear about mindfulness when it comes to our emotions.  And the best way I can put it is that when we think of our day-to-day, we tend to not like it when emotions show up.  We have things to do, people to see, areas to take care of, folks who depend on us, and when emotions show up, they tend to be seen as something that gets in the way.  The default action is usually for us to try and put our emotions off to the side and say something to the effect of, “Not now!” Or even, “I can’t deal with this now!” Not to mention, “If I let this in it will totally mess up my entire day!”  Which often sets the stage for us to have more of a “mindless” stance toward our emotions because it can seem like an annoyance or menace to what matters most.

Taking a more mindful approach to emotions instead might sound intense or complicated but it doesn’t have to be.  Often it involves taking just a moment or two to observe what we’re feeling and instead of stuffing it down, take the time to just observe it.  No need to judge it either, but instead take a look at what we’re feeling as if it’s another item on our overall landscape.  Instead of it being something outside of ourselves we’re taking a glance inwards and reworking how we relate to all our inner stuff.  

So, in a sense, mindfulness is really all about allowing yourself to have emotions and having the audacity to see them for what they are.  And instead of them being a destructive force they can be merely something you observe without judgment so that they don’t sneak up on you.  Ironically, allowing yourself to acknowledge what you’re feeling allows you to move on from it. Whereas, having conflict with your feelings tends to result in more time or energy going into them.  

An Involuntary, Sudden, Violent Exhalation of Air

Often once we observe what we’re feeling it can also be helpful to then have more of a protocol as to what we do next to get back on with life.  Compare the emotions we have with another phenomenon that everybody experiences, but we often don’t even think about.  On most days, we all are prone to experiencing something that can be absolutely debilitating. That is impossible to predict, but can really make whatever else we’re doing seem impossible.  This is a phenomenon in which we can experience an involuntary, suddenly violent exhalation of air of an indefinite duration that can almost feel like a “respiratory seizure.”  What I’m talking about is commonly known as “sneezing,” though we never view it using these intense medical terms.  Instead, we acknowledge what just happened, wipe our nose, say a brief comment about what just happened, exchange a “Bless you,” and then go about our day.

In many ways, mindfulness is comparable in that we can take a somewhat radical approach to our own emotions as being a similarly naturally occurring experience that’s ok to have and we can be able to observe and move on from as long as we allow it to happen.  It might seem tough to deal with for a period of time, but it feels so much better to have run its course and know that there’s a pattern as well as an ending to it.  The basics of mindfulness all come down to allowing yourself the option to feel along with everything else our brain is telling us to do.